TELUS MOBILITY

June 27th, 2007

Dear Telus,

After listening to the ads that you have been sending out to radio stations over the past few years, I have been driven to email you and ask that you please leave lister's ears alone. Not only are your ads completely non-comical, but they are utterly annoying and drive me to turn the radio off. 

Because I am a frequent radio listener and your company seems to be a frequent radio advertiser, I am constantly being pestered by the un-wittiness of your ads which contributes to me not using your services at all. Perhaps you could just advertise your products the normal, informative way, instead of TRYING to be witty.

Thank You

-not a potential customer

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June 29th, 2007

Hello Terry Ibele,

Thank you for your e-mail. 

As we are a national company, TELUS tries to be successful in a wide reach of the Canadian population in our advertising. With Canada being a diverse and inclusive cultured society, we want to ensure that everyone can relate to the stories we tell in our advertisements, regardless of ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, lifestyle, etc. We believe that the use of nature and animals are a great, inclusive way to tell stories in which the majority of the Canadian population can relate.

Complaints and suggestions received through e-mails are tracked and submitted in a monthly report, which serves as the basis towards planned improvements to existing services. At TELUS, we are committed to making technology easy to use, and to making sure that all of our interactions with clients are straightforward and fair. We consider your feedback a valuable contribution to our ongoing commitment to our client's needs.

Sincerely,

N. Carter

e.Care Specialist

TELUS 

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CONCLUSION: They didn't do much about the cheese in their ads and ironically, I am actually now a TELUS customer 

DISCOVER WITCHCRAFT

November 5th, 2007
(sent to my Hotmail account)
Hi there, I just got off the phone with Giancarlo and he was telling me about his new book about getting what (and who) you want with the power of Witchcraft.

Yes, I said Witchcraft.

DiscoverWitchCraft

But not the bad kind that brings violent and negative effects in your life. It's the helpful, spiritual way of the matter.  It teaches you how to use easy spells and 5 minute rituals to bring more abundance, love, health and joy to your life.

Anyway, he told me about the amount of copies he was selling on a daily basis and (after my jaw absolutely dropped) I was convinced we are in the middle of a 'magic revolution'. He has tons of ecstatic customers writing him testimonials and words of praise every day...

He doesent know how long he can offer this book because he has to limit the number of copies, so I wanted to make sure you had your chance to read it before its gone.

I am SURE you will love it :-)

DiscoverWitchCraft

Enjoy!

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 5th, 2007

Hi there,

I just got off the phone with an idiot and he was telling me about his new book about getting what (and who) you want with the power of stupid.

Yes I said STUPID!

DiscoverSTUPID

But not just any kind of stupid, the most glorious and special of all stupidness that any idiot can easily fall trapped into. Clearly it is helpful towards degrading your spirituality, it teaches you to put your faith in the dumbest things and in 5 whole minutes you can be on your way to hell; which evidently causes certain organizations called DiscoverSTUPID to earn more money!

Anyway, this idiot told me about the amount of copies he was selling on a daily basis, which clearly proves that he was not lying and that ignorant and gullible people everywhere were becoming stupider and stupider by the minute, yep my jaw absolutely dropped from the previous mentioned lame statement. I am now clearly convinced that there is a stupid revolution going on everywhere. This idiot has gained sooo many more stupid followers who are writing him everyday, telling him how glorious his path of life is...

He doesn't (not spelled "doesent" - check your freaking spelling!) know how long he can offer stupidity to the people of earth, because he just might run out of some himself, so clearly, even though I do not know your name, gender, age, job, place of residence, background or even which language you speak, I thought I better make sure that you did not miss out on this limited offer of GENUINE, CLEARLY TRUTHFUL, NON-SATANIC STUPIDITY, before its all gone.
I am SURE you will looooooooooooooove it :-)

DiscoverSTUPID

Enjoy!

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LESSON: Don't spam me!

SLAP CHOP

November 12th, 2009 
Dear TERRY IBELE:

This email is to inform you of an error made in the processing of your Slap Chop payment. We neglected to charge you for the sales tax associated with your purchase and will be billing your credit card for the remaining balance within the next 24 to 48 hours. You will only be billed for the tax amount, not for the entire order. You can check the status of your order and payment 24 hours a day at www.customerstatus.com.

Order Summary:
Gross: $ 19.95
Shipping: $ 17.9
Tax: $ 4.92
Total: $ 42.77
Paid: $ 37.85

Balance Due: $ 4.92

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December 12th, 2009
Hi,

I am extremely upset that I received an email saying that I was not charged 'sales tax' on my order of the Slap Chop, which I purchased on the 22nd of August.

I have pasted an email conversation below that I had with customer service in August, because a problem on your part, a 'computer glitch' falsely charged me three times the amount that I should have been charged. Your customer service did not catch the glitch, and had I not enquired, I'm sure that I would have been charged that amount.

Furthermore, I requested the “TOTAL AMOUNT OF MY BILL” and your response was " Your payment is only $19.95 plus $15.90 S&H... There is also a Canada surcharge of $2.00." (see below) This amount itself = $37.85, but according to my credit card, I was charged "$41.71." I did not mention this because it was a difference of only a few dollars. But now that you are telling me that you neglected to charge me sales tax, through YOUR own fault, this is clearly unacceptable. You have demonstrated extremely poor customer service by not making one or two, but THREE errors in charging me the correct amount for my order.

I refuse to pay the $4.92 extra because first of all, in my request for my EXACT bill, I was told that it would come to a total of $37.85, therefore the contract amount of my bill should have been $37.85, and not $42.77, which you are telling me now. Second of all, I have already been ‘overcharged’ for what I believed was the price I was paying; and finally, as I stated before, this is the THIRD mistake on your part, and to be telling me nearly three months later is unacceptable!

This is not a matter of $5, but a matter of extremely poor customer service that needs to be corrected. You need to straighten out all of your glitches and ensure that customers are not overcharged and then asked to pay more money.

I expect that $4.92 will not be charged to my credit card and if it is, I will be filing a complaint not just with your company. This is your mistake, therefore it is not a good business practice to charge the customer three months after the transaction occurred for a mistake that YOU made.

Thank you,

Terry

(PREVIOUS EMAIL CONVERSATION)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 22nd, 20009
Hi,

I ordered 1 slap chop just recently. I believe that your offer is 1 slap chop for $19.95 plus $7.95 for s&h. See below for my Order Details. Why is the $19.95 there 3 times with a $15.90? Please confirm the total amount of my bill.
 
-Terry

August 24th, 2009
Hello,

Your payment is only $19.95 plus $15.90 S&H.  The multiple $19.95 is a computer glitch that is being corrected.  The Offer Details on the web site provide pricing information for shipping and handling as there is S&H on the Free product.  There is also a Canada surcharge of $2.00.

Sincerely,
Customer Service

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 13th, 2009
The discrepancy in your billing is the currency exchange rate from USD to CAD. We have issued a refund of the tax in the amount of $4.92 USD. The refund will show on your account in 3-5 business days. We apologize for any inconvenience.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 13th, 2009
Thank you

Terry

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LESSON: Don't mess with me over $5! Also, don't bother buying a Slap Chop.

KLEENEX

December 5th, 2010

Dear KLEENEX®,

I find it extremely difficult to believe that your introduction of KLEENEX® Hand Towels is in good faith, to ensure that people everywhere are benefiting from clean hands, and not more of a gimmick to cash in on people’s germ-phobias and jump in a sea of hand-towel profits.

I’ll have you know that people have been drying their hands for thousands of years, since the dawn of time, when the first hominid picked up a towel and dried its hands with it - this is an ancient tradition to be cherished! The motion of using a reusable cloth towel encompasses all cultures and draws together all people as part of the human race. When we dry our hands with cloth towels, we are re-enacting in the gesticulations of history’s greatest figures! Galileo Galilei, Joan of Arc, Issac Newton, Confusious, Lady GaGa and even Jesus dried his hands with a soft, clean, fuzzy, hand towel; just as I do.

Also, your environmental blahblahblah doesn’t quite convince me that this is truly a sustainable campaign. In one section of your FAQ (from your website), you state that “…in the U.S. alone, people dry their hands on cloth bathroom towels approximately 200 billion times per year,” not only implying that the average American conservatively only washes his or her hands twice a day, but also that you wish for all of those people to buy your KLEENEX® Hand Towels. … Well, I did the math!

• One tree 75ft in height and 1ft in diameter will produce approximately 25,800 KLEENEX® Hand Towels.
• There are approximately 885,139 hectares of trees left in the Amazon Rainforest.
• Approximately 304 trees grow on each one of those hectares.

If people in the United States use 200 billion KLEENEX® Hand Towels a year, the Amazon Rainforest would be completed depleted in less than 35 years! Now of course, this number is a little outrageous, there is no possible way that you could gain the entire population of the United States as your market; so I recalculated with the population of the entire world! This time less than 2 years!

But wait! Can’t we recycle KLEENEX® Hand Towels? KLEENEX® can break through this disgusting waste of nature and help to create a better tomorrow! “We suggest you discard Kleenex® facial tissue in the trash.” Oh, never mind, I guess not.

But isn’t Kimberley Clark engaging within a sustainable business model?

“…we work hard to assure that the wood fiber we purchase comes only from well-managed forestlands or from recycled sources.” Wait, what? KLEENEX® Hand Towels are made from “Virgin fiber” and they can’t be recycled. So your sustainability campaign really says “we don’t really have one”.

Alright, so let me get this straight – KLEENEX® wants to cut down every tree on earth, touch people’s clean hands with them (hands that were freshly washed and sweetly smelling of lavender soap) and then throw them in landfills? “Yes!” (says imaginary KLEENEX® spokesperson). Oh, silly me, I thought dastardly villains with plans of world tree-cutting domination were things of science fiction.

Continuing on with this fantastically written letter, I noticed that you have made sumptuous references to the Centres for Disease Control in your arguments. “Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines for hand washing recommends hand drying with a single-use towel to help reduce the spread of germs.” To me, this seemed a little scammy, so I looked this up and it seems as though this has been taken out of context (which could also cause you some trouble if anyone were to take notice; they might just say that you’re lying). First of all, the only references to “sing-use towels” that I (and others) could find was within the hand washing standards for persons in health-care and related work-place settings. In their section “Stopping Germs at Home, Work and School,” there is absolutely no reference to single-use towels.

I also find your points from the “recent studies conducted by the CDC” very vague and inconclusive. The link you provide to the CDC is just for hand washing and even there it states, “Dry your hands using a clean towel or air dry” (oooh, that’s indemnifying!). It seems that you were just pulling quick facts that suit your argument. Let me comment on your points for your absolute reading pleasure:

• “Even if a hand towel is not visibly dirty, it does not mean it is clean.”

So, then it doesn’t also mean it’s dirty either. What are you trying to say? How about this? “Even if KLEENEX® hand towels are not visibly dirty, it does not mean they are clean.” That statement is also true. Actually, that statement will be true in every single situation ever! “Even if your grandmother is not visibly dirty, it does not mean that she is clean.” Yup, looks like you’ve got a lot of questions to ask now. 

• “Regular washing of bathroom hand towels does not ensure clean hands.”

Well, not washing at all ensures dirty hands, so what are you saying? I also wash my clothes, bed sheets and underwear in the same manner as my hand towels. Are you going to come out with one-time use KLEENEX® Underwear? And if so, I hope that they come in plaid, please forward this message on to your KLEENEX® Underwear design team.

• “One-time use towels have been shown to be more hygienic.”

More hygienic than…a dirty towel? Ok sure, but what are the figures? Shown to be 0.01% more hygienic? But, what if I spill juice all over the KLEENEX® Hand Towels box in my car on the way home? Can I then wash them? Are they still more hygienic? Am I being too ridiculous? (Yes!) By giving no information, you’re assuming that the people who really want to read this stuff are basically morons and will not ask any further questions.  You’re expecting me to say “Oh, ‘one-time use towels are more hygienic than hand towels’ sounds like a fair statement to me, no problem here!” In fact, I did the opposite; I went and did some research and found out that there are a lot of other people also upset about this issue and that there really are zero benefits to your hand towels.

• “Hand drying with disposable towels can help prevent the spread of germs.”

Surprisingly, I see the logic in this.    

Finally, I have also come up with a list of cheaper, alternative solutions to using KLEENEX® Hand Towels. You are free to take these suggestions down and market them for a 45% cut.

• Waving my hands in the air until they are dry
• Wiping my hands on my pants
• Breathing heavily on my hands
• Drying my hands with my hair and then the dog
• Drying my hands on the couch
• Drying my hands in the toaster
• Drying my hands on the same KLEENEX® Hand Towel over and over again

In conclusion to my well-thought-out and researched points (which seems to be the opposite of what you did); KLEENEX® (Kimberley Clark, *cough* *cough*) is just a money-sucker of a company, loosing share in its facial tissue category and trying to invent innovative ways to still grab profits, while not caring about the well being of anything.

I wash my hands of this case….and then dry them with a cloth towel…which I will use over and over and over and over and over and over and over…….infinite

I expect a prompt and very specific response to my concerns, which I have stated.

Sincerely,

Terry Ibele

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December 21st, 2010
Dear Terry,

Thanks for your e-mail about KLEENEX® Hand Towels.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  We recognize this product might not be for everyone, however, Kleenex® Hand Towels were launched in the United States to offer an additional hygienic option for our consumers.  All of our Kleenex brand products, including Kleenex® Hand Towels, are manufactured in accordance with Kimberly-Clark’s sustainability standards.

Thanks again for your interest.

Jean
Consumer Services, Kimberly-Clark Corp.
Lead the world in essentials for a better life.

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CONCLUSION: I don't think I'm even going to bother responding to that

HOTMAIL

December 8th, 2010
Dear Hotmail,

I was pretty insulted today, when I was asked to enter characters before sending an email to ensure that I was not a Spammer. I have had a Hotmail account for nearly 10 years, of which I use every single day and never for spam. I should have never been labelled by your system for a spam check!

I don't care if it is a random check. With all the wonderful (actually terrible) improvements you keep making to Hotmail, I would think that the reasonable employees working in your offices would have developed more sophisticated software that can tell the differences between a devout Hotmail user and a Spammer!

I am pretty upset about this, please ensure me that this will not happen again. Actually, just ensure to me that this email hasn't just gone into a giant trash bin on your end and write me back about anything.

Sincerely,

Terry Ibele

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OUTCOME: I have sent many emails to Hotmail over the years, and they never respond.  Somebody tell me why haven't I switched to Gmail yet.

GREYHOUND

October 8th, 2010

Dear Greyhound,

I am thoroughly not impressed with the complete lack of effort that went into building your website. I have been trying to book a seat on a bus from Toronto to Kitchener, and your website has proved to be completely useless. Why can't you just provide a plain and simple schedule of the week, instead of forcing me to pick a departure station and an arrival station. This feature is a useless function, because I can opt to pick stops that aren't even stations, thus no information, but "Error, there was a problem with your request" is displayed. Basically, I ended up randomly selecting departure locations from the drop down menu until some sort of schedule appeared (which didn't mean anything to me mind you). I really do not understand why options which only lead to errors have even been permitted, this makes no sense.

Finally, when I discovered the "Quick Link" section, I found a schedule of departure times from Monday through Friday, but not for the weekend. Why don't you have a weekend schedule? Also, the "Quick Link" section has the EXACT SAME titles and options as the "Ticket" section, leading me to believe it would take me to the exact same place, why isn't this more clear.

I hope you have found this long-winded email very flattering, just as your website kept me tied up in knots trying to find the simplest of information.

Sincerely 

Terry Ibele

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OUTCOME: don't think I'll get a response

MICROSOFT

March 30th, 2010

Dear Microsoft,

I haven't even had IE8 installed for 20 minutes and already I am seeing a lot of bugs (I have Vista). For instance, new windows and new tabs do nothing! When I open a link in a new tab, the tab appears, but all it says is 'Connecting'. Furthermore, if I try opening a link in a new window, my windows firewall prevents the 'pop up' window. Even when I temporarily allow pop-ups, the window will not appear. I couldn't even use the 'Ask Casey’ function on your website due to this error.

Also, I noticed that now my folder options are completely screwed up, no matter what options I choose, my folders will always open up in new windows, not the same. This is a huge frustration and annoyance! I shouldn't have to immediately search online for complex solutions to the most simple of errors as soon as I upgrade anything Microsoft!

Overall, this is completely ridiculous. I did a simply search for problems with IE8 and got over 5,000,000 results! You are a professional software company, supposedly offering high-quality upgrades that are functional. This is clearly not the case. 

I have been using Firefox recently, which is a not-for-profit company, and they excel in everything that IE fails at. No wonder more and more users are switching over if Microsoft continues to disappoint and cause problems. There is no excuse! I shouldn't be spending my valuable time online looking for solutions, let alone even be writing this email! I even feel insulted spending money on Microsoft computers, operating systems and software when Microsoft does not put any effort into its products, simply rushing them out to keep ‘up with the times’ and take as much of my money as possible.  I wouldn’t be writing this email if this was the first instance.

I expect a speedy response and a simple and quick solution to my folders option error.

Sincerely, 

Terry

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March 30th, 2010

Hello Terry,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.

I truly apologize that you are not satisfied with your experience with Microsoft. I am forwarding your message to the appropriate group for further follow up.

Your feedback is very important to us. Microsoft is committed to customer satisfaction, and it is only with the help of our valued customers that we can achieve this goal.

Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you relating to this case.

Thank you,

Herbert

Microsoft Customer Service Representative 

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April 13th, 2010

Hi,

I am writing once again to point out the terrible experience I have been having with IE8 and also the lack of diligence on Microsoft's behalf to answer my concern.

I received a response to my original message two weeks ago that was promised 'further follow up'. I do not believe any further follow up was pursued to the least bit. Since the response, I have noticed that my IE8 browser now correctly displays pop-up windows, new pages, new tabs and the problem with my computer’s folders are fixed. However, I never got any notification stating ‘the glitches with IE8 are fixed, here’s a list of past problems you may have experienced…’ Two weeks is clearly sufficient time to at least send a notification as to whether the problems I experienced with IE were looked into.

Furthermore, in the response I received, it stated that Microsoft “is committed to customer satisfaction.” Really? I specifically asked in my concern for a response with a simple solution, and I have not received any notice on anything. If not following through with customer’s concerns is what Microsoft considers adequate courtesy, then I do not know what to say. Also, at first, I really thought that my concern was important because the response email stated, ‘I truly apologize..’, but now I see that was a very hollow statement.

I feel as though Microsoft has left me in the dark over my concerns, hoping that I would either forget or choose not to pursue them further. Since I am left in the dark, I can choose to believe whatever I want to believe about what happens to my enquiries. For all I know, I received an automated computer message and no one ever looked into my email.

Furthermore, IE8 is still extremely glitchy. It is much slower than my Firefox browser. Also, I have noticed that most of the time, if I have more than two tabs loading at once, IE8 will cease to respond, requiring me to end the operation and start over again. These reasons have forced me to use IE less and less since I upgraded to IE8, instead using Firefox (which I have not had any problems with yet). I cannot figure out why Microsoft is not aware of, or trying to fix these issues, seeming as this is a competitive market and it seems that IE is going downhill.

Being a lifetime supporter of PCs, I have spent literally thousands of dollars on Microsoft products and because Microsoft seems to be losing edge and clearly does not even have the decency to follow up to my concerns in a timely manner, I do not believe there is any value for me to spend any more. I am hoping that there is still some reason to convince me otherwise.

Sincerely,

Terry

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April 13th, 2010

Hello Terry,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.

I understand that you have terrible issues with your Internet Explorer on your Windows Vista operating system. I can understand that must make you feel upset and I can understand how you feel. We will work toward fixing this situation for you.

As a Customer Service Representative, I am here to provide you the links and support options that may be able to help you resolve your issue.

Terry, to obtain support here are the steps on how you can navigate through our Online Assisted Support Option site:

http://support.microsoft.com/select/default.aspx?target=assistance&c1=503&GSSProdSelMore503

Note: Please be informed that you need to select the exact version of Internet Explorer that you’re using to obtain support.

You may also post your issue in Microsoft Answers for Windows, Security Essentials and Windows Live:

http://social.answers.microsoft.com/Search/en-US/?Refinement=112&query=Internet%20Explorer

And also, post your issue in the Microsoft newsgroups for Internet Explore users.  For information on how to use the Microsoft newsgroups, please visit the following URL: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/ie/dgbrowser/en-us/default.mspx

In addition to that, you may search the Product Solution Center or the Knowledge Base of self-help articles to resolve your issue:

·          Click on this link: http://support.microsoft.com/select/defaultaspx?target=hub&c1=503&

·          Please select among the choices below where you are having issues

·          After you click it and after getting in, please select an issue that you’ve been encountering. 

Furthermore, if the Microsoft software came from your computer manufacturer, they are your primary option for support:
http://support.microsoft.com/defaultaspx?pr=oemphone

 

You can also call our Technical Support Team through 800-936-5700. Business hours are Monday - Friday, 5:00 AM - 9:00 PM Pacific Time and Saturday and Sunday, 6:00 AM - 3:00 PM Pacific Time.

If you still have other concern, please feel free to write back.

Thank you,

Cindy

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April 23, 2010

So basically I'm being told that:

A.) no one really cares about my concerns, because I keep hearing 'sorry, sorry, sorry' but no one has acknowledged any of the specific problems that I've experienced.

B.) Microsoft's Customer Service is useless since it is only 'here to provide [me] with links and support options' instead of actually looking at what problems I had, and finding out how to solve them for me. I don't believe it is MY job to seek out solutions to Microsoft's mistakes. I already initiated my concerns with IE8, and now I am being told to do the same thing again. My concern SHOULD have been forwarded through the tech department, someone with knowledge on my issues SHOULD have looked into the problems and then written me back on how to solve them. None of this happened, instead we played e-mail tag and got nowhere.

D.) If I want help on Microsoft's mistakes, I have to do it myself.

In conclusion, as a completely frustrated customer, I am now a proud Firefox user and also am looking into Apple options for computer hardware and software.

Note: The latest response I got from Cindy was the most polite/personalized response yet, so thank you.

-Terry

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April 24th, 2010

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.

I apologize that you are not satisfied with your experience with Microsoft.

Your feedback is very important to us. Microsoft is committed to customer satisfaction, and it is only with the help of our valued customers that we can achieve this goal.

Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you relating to this case.

Thank you,

Mary Anne

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 24th, 2010

Hi Maureen,

I would just like to let you know that I find a recent response from Mary Ann extremely insulting. Her response only further reinforces my opinion that Microsoft could not care less about its customers and also that Mary Ann did not read anything about my concerns or responses when she wrote me.

I highly question why Microsoft even has customer service when I am treated with such ignorance and why I am getting responses such as the one from Mary Ann.

I expect you, as a Manager to take action on this situation, but then again, nothing has been done over my concerns over the past weeks, so I guess I really shouldn't expect anything.

Terry

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 24th, 2010

Hello Terry,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.

My sincerest apologies for the inconvenience you experienced regarding Internet Explorer as well as Mary Anne’s reply over your concern. 

If you are still interested to pursue this complaint, please use the Manager Feedback form at this link for proper escalation: https://support.microsoft.com/contactus/emailcontact.aspx?scid=sw;en;1645&WS=managermail

Rest assured that this issue will be dealt at and will present Mary Anne the justly corrective action she deserves.

Thank you,

Sherry

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OUTCOME: I give up, Microsoft wins

RONA

May 2009

Dear Rona, 

I have been recently notified of your 15% in-store discount this Saturday through a web banner advertisement displayed in my e-mail account. There is a clear grammatical error present in your ad, which reads "ASK FOR YOU STICKER IN STORE." This tells me that this ad was not given the time and quality that should have gone into it, as it was rushed out. It also tells me that your marketing department is not checking the messages that it is sending out to the public. I am not very impressed, as I am left questioning the legitimacy of you advertising (see how noticeable that error is?) due to a lack of commitment to marketing excellence. 

Sincerely, 

Terry Ibele

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

August 5th, 2010

Madam, Sir:

Hi mister Ibele, Due to a failure in our communications system last year, we have been unable to answer your email. Here is the answer you should have received: Thank you for your observation. We apologize for this terrible mistake and we appreciate your understanding, these things happen sometimes, and we always appreciate the attention and care of our loyals customers regarding this matter. Needless to say that we sincerely apologize for this unfortunate inconvenience. We wish to keep you amongst our loyal customers and you can be assured that we will be pleased to help you in your renovation or gardening projects. Thank you and have an excellent day.
Best regards,

Customer Service 

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October 8th, 2010

Dear Customer Service,

I have a few problems with the response that I received from you, dated August 5th, 2010.
 

First of all, the timeliness of your response, regardless of your communications systems failure, is outright insulting. It took nearly a year for customer service to respond to my message. However, your website’s contact page states, “We wish to answer your questions efficiently and quickly,” which seems entirely contradictory in this matter. What if my message was regarding an urgent safety issue on an item? What if my message was regarding product pricing and I took my business elsewhere? Regardless, for a company that generates over $6 billion in sales a year, it would be thought that you would be able to afford a decent ‘communication system,’ which would not fail in the first place and then take an entire year to fix.

Secondly, the response that I did receive states “…we always appreciate the attention and care of our loyal[s] customers…” Do you mean to say that you actually rely on your customers to complete quality control on your advertisements when mistakes slip through? I do not believe that I receive a paycheque from Rona, so I do not believe I should have to be on the lookout for your mistakes. Also, I have worked from both the Customer Marketing and agency side of businesses, so I know just how much quality control ads like these should have gone through. What “these things happen sometimes” indicates is that mistakes like this are not uncommon and that your marketing department is really not doing its job.

Finally, there are multiple spelling and grammar mistakes in your response, which I have indicated below. Your mistakes are in red, with a strike-through and my corrections are in green and bolded.

Sincerely,

Terry

P.S. Thanks for wishing me an excellent day :)

Madam, Sir: (really?)

Dear Mr. Ibele

Hi mister Ibele, Due to a failure in our communications system last year, we have been unable to answer your email. Here is the answer you should have received: Thank you for your observation. We apologize for this terrible mistake and we appreciate your understanding, these. These things happen sometimes, and we always appreciate the attention and care of our loyals loyal customers regarding this matter these matters. Needless to say that, we sincerely apologize for this unfortunate inconvenience (how exactly, is this an inconvenience?). We wish to keep you amongst our loyal customers and you can be assured that we will be pleased to help you in your renovation or gardening projects. Thank you and have an excellent day.

Best regards,

Customer Service

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OUTCOME: It will take another year before I get another response

BELL CANADA

June 16th, 2007

Dear Bell,

First of all, I would like to say that it is not  very easy to write a general e-mail to your services, seeming as you make everything categorized and limited. 

Secondly, after seeing one of your latest advertising campaigns, I have been very upset with your company. 

"From A to Z, the calls are Free" 

This advertisment is clearly being said by a beaver, trying to give a "Canadian Patriotic" feel to the ad. However, the Canadian way to pronounce "zed" does not rhyme with "free". If you are so "Canadian", then why is the beaver speaking "American"? Up to this point, I have been very pleased with your company trying to become truly "Canadian" to its customers, but now I see that you do not even know the simplest of things. 

Sincerely,

Terry Ibele

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June 19th, 2007

Dear Mr. Ibele

Thank you for visiting Bell's web site.  My name is David and I am pleased to assist you.

I appreciate you taking the time to write us to comment on our current advertising.  I do apologize that you find it upsetting.  It is certainly not our intent to disturb our valued customers.  In today's competitive environment, Bell relies heavily on advertising our products and features, as do other companies.

Rest assured I have forwarded your feedback to our advertising department, for review and consideration for future advertisements.

If you have additional questions or concerns, please send an e-mail to my attention.  Thank you for the opportunity to assist you.  Your business is appreciated.

I wish you a pleasant day, Mr. Ibele.

Regards

David
Bell Internet Centre

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OUTCOME: I noticed a few weeks later that none of these "From A to Z, the calls are Free" had disappeared (could have just been because of the cycle of advertising though).