May 14, 2012
Dear Stella Artois,
I recently had to sit through one of your YouTube commercials on YouTube. Most commercials are nice enough to offer an opt out button after 5 seconds of viewing their commercials (of which I typically do, unless the commercial happens to be surprisingly titillating). However, yours did not and I was forced to sit through a 30 second commercial where all you did was show a picture of your beer. If I wanted to look at a poster, I would. Perhaps you don't understand that YouTube is for MOVING pictures! Further to that, YouTube is for people with the attention span of a small potato. How do you expect someone like me, to wait for 30 seconds to watch a video that is hardly even 30 seconds itself?! The sun moved three degrees in the sky while I waited through your commercial.
Do you create commercials that are equally as long as the things they play before? You know, 30 second videos on YouTube having 30 second Stella commercials before them? We're talking 3 hour long church services! 16 hour work days! 730 day years! Dentist appointments doubled! Poor little Timmy had to wait through a Stella commercial while the dentist had a firm grip on his tooth before he pulled it out. Shame on you, he was only 12.
I hope you feel bad now, and that it took one of your Stella employees at least 30 seconds to read this letter of complaint so that the amount of time that our lives have been wasted is equal (regardless of the amount of time I've wasted on YouTube, not including writing this letter).
Sincerely,
Terry
I recently had to sit through one of your YouTube commercials on YouTube. Most commercials are nice enough to offer an opt out button after 5 seconds of viewing their commercials (of which I typically do, unless the commercial happens to be surprisingly titillating). However, yours did not and I was forced to sit through a 30 second commercial where all you did was show a picture of your beer. If I wanted to look at a poster, I would. Perhaps you don't understand that YouTube is for MOVING pictures! Further to that, YouTube is for people with the attention span of a small potato. How do you expect someone like me, to wait for 30 seconds to watch a video that is hardly even 30 seconds itself?! The sun moved three degrees in the sky while I waited through your commercial.
Do you create commercials that are equally as long as the things they play before? You know, 30 second videos on YouTube having 30 second Stella commercials before them? We're talking 3 hour long church services! 16 hour work days! 730 day years! Dentist appointments doubled! Poor little Timmy had to wait through a Stella commercial while the dentist had a firm grip on his tooth before he pulled it out. Shame on you, he was only 12.
I hope you feel bad now, and that it took one of your Stella employees at least 30 seconds to read this letter of complaint so that the amount of time that our lives have been wasted is equal (regardless of the amount of time I've wasted on YouTube, not including writing this letter).
Sincerely,
Terry
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CONCLUSION: Be entertaining!
